Totally upfront here, the beginning of the blog is my normal style but it gets a little heavy at the end. Feel free to skip the ending.
The big change for the week is that we were dog sitting for my inlaws. That’s right, there were three dogs in my house this week. The extra dog was surprisingly overwhelming, I think because suddenly I was short one hand for petting. Oh, if all of life’s problems could be this wonderful!
In other exciting news, I finally started my couch to 5k program. It feels so good to be back to working out. Time to get the nursing school weight off.
Monday was all about crafting and by crafting, I mean buying craft supplies and then leaving them around the house while you figure out what you didn’t buy but now you have to wait for the next budget cycle to start. But look at all the pretty fall stuff!
I am so ready to start decorating for fall, but Z. has a rule about no fall decor before football season starts. Yet every time I come home from work, there is football on the tv. Apparently that doesn’t count because it is preseason or last seasons games… yeah, I don’t understand his reasoning either.
I got up Tuesday and went out to lunch with my friend to a local delight called Mussel and Burger bar… bet you can never guess what they serve. But seriously, they are so good.
Tuesday night, Z. came and convinced me to go on a date. He was leaving the next night for a nerd conference (Gen Con) and wanted to spend a night with me before he left.
Sadly, that was the most exciting part of my week. Z. left for Indianapolis to go to GenCon, which is apparently a big deal if you are into board gaming. I am not so eh… but I am really glad he getting away for a long boys weekend. Z. was gone from Thursday to Sunday, which was perfect since those were my days at the hospital. The worst part is it meant my girlies were in the crate for a lot longer than I wanted them to be. They were fine, but still, I hate leaving them. I think I am going to have to look into someone who can occasionally pop in to let my girls out in situations like this.
However, work was…. rough. Much relaxing in the yard was needed.
Maybe it was the impending eclipse, maybe it was just luck, but it was rough. I had my first combative patient who shoved my preceptor and made a move towards me before we were able to calm the situation. The next day, one of our techs was injured by a patient and it took a large number of us to handle the situation. We had a couple of rough codes.
I just, I know this is what being an ER nurse is. I knew that and I still know it. But when you are facing the situation where you think “I could get really hurt,” followed by a praying that your coworkers walk away unharmed today.
It was the first time I got in my car and just cried. My emotions during the journey have been so taut; I am constantly terrified I will do something wrong or miss something and that I will cause harm to my patients. But that day, I felt like I was giving everything to someone who would turn around and break me physically, which broke me emotionally.
I don’t want to give the impression that I regret going into nursing, because I don’t. I feel honored to do what I do. But this week broke me a little and I want to live a real experience with my readers.
Thanks for sticking by me, guys.